It's not often that we're left flabbergasted about something related to a car, but it does happen every now and again.
It's even less common for us to see something on a car and feel the need to 'decompress through the medium of written language' (i.e. write a blog post about it). In fact, without checking through our extensive history of somewhat disappointingly formatted and partially illiterate blog posts, this might actually be the first time we've actively written a blog post about the condition of an individual car. So please excuse the use of poor language as we try to explain the fuckery we've witnessed over the last few months.
So, what is the situation?
The TL;DR (as far as we understand) is that this particular vehicle was imported to Australia in the last 12-24 months, underwent an extensive conversion to become a food truck and, was delivered to the new owners about 12 months ago costing a sum total of about $135,000. In the last 10 months they have spent $5,000 with our Kashy mechanics to keep this poor thing on the road and have been quoted somewhere around $18,635-$55,000 to get it into proper functioning shape.
Now, there's a lot of different sides to this story (and we don't have all of them) so we will try to be 'diplomatic' in how we present this, but a quote of $55,000 in repairs on a van that was supposedly ready to go and roadworthy a year ago is starting to feel like a stretch.
In fact $55,000 in repairs for almost anything, especially on a van that cost $135,000 to have built as a work truck and freshly registered just last year, is really one of the most ridiculous things we've ever quoted on.
Needless to say we will be leaving out the name of both the owners and the location they purchased it from as;
We don't know all the facts and we haven't heard all the sides of the story, and
We don't want to catch a case for a blog post that uses the word fuckery in the first paragraph.
So instead of that, we are going to attempt to use "diplomacy" to list out some of the repairs and the surprises we've been pleasantly gifted throughout our 10 month relationship with this car shaped commercial kitchen calamity.
It all started pretty simply with a brake noise diagnosis in February. Now, our Kashy mechanics don't advertise that we work on these older or more unusual vehicles (in fact we haven't really been advertising at all lately), but we are enthusiasts at heart and we have a problem with saying no.
It's a cool car, and the owners of this future financial misfortune were nice enough to deal with from the very beginning. And honestly, we wouldn't have so many interesting stories if we also had a modicum self control (especially when it comes to buying tools).
A worn out set of brakes and a fan belt is a pretty typical or healthy way for a relationship between a mechanic and a car to begin, and this was really no different. It was a pretty straight forward job, and though sourcing a set of brakes and wheel bearings and getting the giant brake rotors machined was challenging, it was.. at least possible.
For all the unusual parts and integrated hub and rotor machining, the first invoice came out fairly reasonable at around $1,650. It also came with a couple of recommendations as to what to look at next to get a good idea of the overall condition (such as a basic service and rocker cover gaskets). Quoted at around $800.
Unfortunately, even though a basic service and a full check over was our next recommendation, the rear axle drive flange bolts had their own idea and, just a month later (in March), they decided to go 'AFK' for the little price of a call out and some new bolts, or $185.
Sum total for the first month, approx. $1,850 spent and $1,300 quoted.
Our next little issue was actually a few months in the making with a diagnosis booked in for early August for some hard starting. Now, old cars were fitted with carburetors and, as inappropriate as it sounds, they usually need to be choked a bit and given a few pumps to get them started when they're cold, or if they haven't been turned on already.
The next problem for the owner of this vivid vermillion van was an issue where cold starting was extra difficult, and they were having to crank it multiple times before they could get it turned on.
By this stage we were expecting to find something moderately interesting like an air leak in the intake system, but boy howdy were we surprised to find out that there wasn't any choke lever in the cabin at all.
A good check over under the bonnet found a nice, bright, and shiny aftermarket Edelbrock marine carburetor. It actually appeared to have been fitted fairly recently (say in the last year or so) and, while it had an automatic electric choke fitted, the power source had been mysteriously omitted.
We opted to write off this invoice for a number of reasons, including just plain old good will, but before we could piece together prices for this round of investigation, we received another call out for a failing starter motor and coolant leak.
Another $620 for the starter and diagnosis (a fairly discounted rate given the price and availability of parts) brought the total spend to $2,400. And the quote for fixing the carburetor, electronic choke, exhaust and ignition brings the total quoted to $8,300.
At this stage, we insisted that a basic service and a look at the (rather major) coolant leak was the next job and it was booked in just a week later.
After seeing the 'patient' for numerous issues previously, we had noted one potential concern was when it had actually last been serviced. We had somehow managed to eye the oil filter amongst the leaks and grease stains when we changed the starter motor and (upon aforementioned eyeing) a feeling of nostalgia for the 90's had swept over us like Belinda Carlisle's proverbial Summer Rain.
We might try to use flowery or vague language to keep people interested in what it otherwise the service history of an old van, but when we say this oil filter looked old enough to vote, we aren't joking.
A basic service, an oil sample test, a new thermostat housing seal, radiator cap, fuel filter, and some other bits of mucking around add another $1,250 to the total spent at $3,650.
However, this is where things really go downhill in this story. We've checked with the owner and anonymized their details below, but after submitting the oil sample we took for analysis we got back easily the worst report any mechanic we know has ever seen with something like 2,250ppm iron content (which is normally a problem at just 90ppm) and enough severe markers to warrant a warning equating to, 'Stop! Please!'.
After the service gave us the chance to finally go over everything, we quoted everything from a new air filter and spark plugs, to radiator pipes, an intake and exhaust, a carburetor, transmission service, almost all of the suspension bits and a set of headlights brighter than a candle in an empty field.
On top of all of that, the oil sample now indicated damage to the engine internals, meaning this "new to them a year ago" work truck would (most likely) need a new engine in the near-ish future.
Total spend before our oil sample remained roughly the same at $3,650 and $16,800 quoted, though, looking at the need for a new engine begins to inflate the quote. With prices in the multiple tens of thousands for a new crate motor and only slightly less when looking at a rebuild instead. At this stage, our quote (or estimate really) jumps up to around $45,000.
Now, at this stage, you're probably thinking something like, "Why are they spending money on this?", or, "That's an insane amount of money, are they still mentally sound?".
There's a lot of things to be said here. Realistically, the owners spend up until this point isn't actually all that bad for a classic car or a work truck over the period of a year. This van is almost 45 year old already, and while age can't account for all problems, it can show cracks in pieces that were otherwise left untended over a very long lifespan.
We've seen things that should almost never degrade or fail suddenly fall to bits on other classics. From indicator stalks to fuel tanks and even metal linkages. 45 years of wear and tear on the human body is likely to gift you with a sore back and the inability to bounce back when you hit concrete and cars are somewhat the same.
We spend something like $800 per year on oil and filter changes for our main Kashy work ute and that's not accounting for other bills and breakdowns. In fact, we've spent around $6,000 in parts for the suspension, injectors, updates and general maintenance over the last 2 years and we continue to spend something like $10,500 on fuel and tolls per year just for the privilege of driving around in Brisbane traffic.
With all that said, if this was the conclusion to our story, you might be a little disappointed with the lack of carnage. Luckily it isn't, because just 4 weeks later, the RHR suspension shackle decided to part along the metal bracket like the Red Sea just days before one of the biggest events for this team of the year, rendering the big barge completely immobile.
Now this vehicle needed to at least be stable enough to sit on the driveway and be ready to work on in the future so we enlisted the help of a hot metal glue gun and someone with enough competency to use it and managed to weld it together enough to safely wait for new parts.
Another (heavily discounted) $1,350 brings the total to $5,000 and a guesstimate of somewhere between $45,000-$55,000 for all of the mechanical repairs needed to get this truck back on the go.
You're probably in one of three camps about this story by now. You're in shock and disbelief that any one of the litany of problems we've seen occur (let alone all of them), you lost track or couldn't understand what we were saying by the second paragraph, or you realised this blog post was entirely too boring and left shortly after the first "fuckery".
Here's where we stand on the matter. It's insane.
Allow us to combination vent and rant for a moment. For a change, it won't attempt to be funny and it won't be peppered with alliteration and sarcasm.
We have seen some truly damaged cars over the last 6 years at Kashy. We've seen things snapped in half on cars that we would have never thought could even bend, and failures in components so interesting that there's only theories as to how it happened.
However, at no point have we felt such an immense frustration about a situation as we have on this van. It's bad enough for us, but we've been trying to empathize with the owners as well. A year ago they spent $135,000 on a work vehicle that has been broken down almost as much as it's been on the road.
It's incredible to us that the company that sold them this vehicle could do such a beautiful job fitting the kitchen while somehow being blind to every mechanical system on the rest of the vehicle.
Except they weren't. A fact we know about because it's been fitted with a new carburetor at some point. We also know that, even though the inside of the van is immaculate, the water pipes and other systems under the vehicle are zip-tied to and rubbing against the frame. It's even got fairly new tyres.
Obviously there was an issue with the old carburetor as it got replaced. Obviously they were under the vehicle because the water lines and accessories have been installed. Obviously someone looked at something because the tyres were replaced. Obviously someone inspected it because it was given a roadworthy certificate and registered. So who looked at these problems and somehow managed to gloss over everything else like it didn't exist.
From the first time we looked at this van, we noticed that it was sitting extra low in the back right corner. Why? Because the weight of every major industrial appliance was on the back right corner. Was anything done to mitigate the imbalance or allow for the excessive loading on that corner? Was it ever put on a weighbridge after the kitchen was added? Is it even a legal weight in QLD?
At just a glance, it was possible to see that there was a number of mechanical issues with this vehicle, but there's a shiny new kitchen and a fresh wrap on the outside to distract you from the reality. Which really begs the question, "Is it incompetence or some sad version of profit maximization?".
Surely, if we were buying a fresh imported $135,000 work vehicle with a fresh roadworthy certificate and overhaul, we would at least expect the oil to be changed.
The first question we would ask if we were reading this is, "why have you discounted so much work on this truck?". First and foremost, the mechanic we sent out for these jobs has a stupid sense of moral justice and couldn't live with themselves if we'd charged appropriately for the amount of hours spent rectifying a shit-uation that we feel shouldn't have happened in the first place.
The second question would be, "where do they go now?". That's the more tricky one. The truck itself is super cool, and after dumping a bunch of cash into purchasing it, it needs to work to earn its keep.
Can we replace the bare minimum to keep it on the road and chugging along? Probably, but we're almost positive that there's a sour taste for the owners and at some point in the future it's going to had a repair bill over 30% of what they paid for it last year.
What do we have to say about the company that built this van? We're conflicted.
We typically believe that almost all mechanics are trying to do the right thing while balancing the cost for the owner. We also believe that everyone can have a bad day at work and misdiagnose or not see something. It's something we've done ourselves. But there's a lot to be said for the fact that so many people had to have worked on or seen this van in the build process and the chances every one of them missing these issues has to be half a bees dick away from impossible.
We don't want to theorize because it only leads to assumptions, but it's hard not to wonder what the fuck happened to this poor van.
If you have any questions about this blog post, would like a second opinion from a mechanic or would like to find an honest mechanic in Brisbane, check out Kashy here.
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